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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Where Do We Go From Here?

Parenting Secrets Revealed - Is Kindergarten The New College Prep?

By Dawn Walker

I live in a suburban, upper-middle class neighborhood in Southern California. The community is made up of high one-income families, full-time dual income families and lots of stay-at-home moms with "side income". It is hard not to generalize but I am sure most adults in the area are college educated, many with graduate degrees, as you can see by the number of UCLA and USC license plates frames on SUVs. I am not sure what class I missed in college, but it seems many parents had some training in "Your Kids Have To Take AP courses And Other College Equivalents As Early As Possible To Succeed In Life." And my question is simply "Is Kindergarten The New College Prep?"

A few months ago I learned that my high-schooler was no longer striving for a 4.0 grade point average. She is competing against what seems like the majority of students in her school who are taking Advanced Placement (AP) courses that earn them a 5.0, or an extra grade unit towards college. In order to get into the University of California system or other highly competitive universities, a 4.0 is not good enough. Not only are these kids earning that 5.0 grade point average, but there are many classes they can take that will qualify towards their lower division requirements for college so that when they enter college, they already have units. And to make this even worse, there are some high schools in the area that actually graduate high school students with an Associates Degree, passing the first two years of college in high school.

So if high school students are taking their first two years of college in high school, will junior high students be taking high school classes in junior high? If this is the case, then elementary students will be taking the junior high curriculum during first through sixth grade, leaving my incoming Kindergartener to start calculus and chemistry in Kindergarten. I guess my sister-in-law, pregnant with my nephew due in May should start registering for college prep-Kindergarten classes now before the "list" gets too long.

On Boston Legal recently, a case was presented to the court regarding a high school student who had fallen asleep at the wheel of her car and died out of exhaustion from a mixture of too many Advanced Placement courses and extra-curricular activities. As if this fictional television program always seems to mirror real life, it is unfortunate that possibly somewhere in this country, this actually happened. Or maybe in some writers head, they see this as a possible direction that their child or their friends' child is heading. Perhaps this could actually happen to a family I know? I shudder at the thought.

My approach to parenting and the education of my children is vastly different than most moms I know. In fact, at a breakfast date this morning with several moms I've known since our children were small, I mentioned that a local high school was changing its' focus and encouraging its' students to have fun, explore options and possibly strive for a Junior College before heading for a University. One of the moms piped in and told the group that the high school I was referring to was actually a school for athletes, implying that our high school must have all the "serious" students.

I am not happy that my 3rd grader gets frustrated with assignments because she is being pushed so hard to practice the different genres of writing. My wish for her and my other children is that they have positive educational experiences rich with learning, studying, exploring, and understanding where they feel prepared not just for college but to live an independent life where they know not only about history, English and mathematics, but how to balance a checkbook and prepare simple nutritious meals. My tenth grader was offered a schedule this past semester that included too many difficult courses. My husband contacted the school to find out if this schedule could be changed. After speaking with her counselor, we realized that they put all the kids on the University requirement path unless otherwise specified. They do not mention to the average student that they have the opportunity to take, should they pass on the honor and A.P. tract, or finish their High School requirements early, say cooking or tech. In fact, they do not offer tech class, the class the kids learn keyboarding, introductory computer programming and even Photoshop, to students unless they are struggling in other classes. So many kids are ready for University but are not exposed to cooking or typing, the two things they are REALLY going to need to survive in college. Perhaps cooking and tech should be offered as A.P. courses so that those 5.0 students see that these classes are even available.

Why do we need college graduates who are not even allowed to vote? Are these kids mature enough to handle making tough decisions about finance and interpersonal relationships at twenty years of age? When do they get to have fun, rebel a little and learn about what interests them when they are barely out of puberty? I am not sure what the answer is. Perhaps we need to help the schools to realize that the test scores and the statistics about how many graduates go straight to Harvard are not all that matters. Maybe we need to follow up on these kids through college and into their 30's and 40's to find out if pushing them so hard during their childhood really produces more successful and happy adults.

Dawn Walker of http://www.chefdawn.com

Your Personal E-Chef Live: Everything about Cooking, Food, and Family. Bring back dinner parties!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dawn_Walker
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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Embrace Failure!

In our society, failure is unacceptable. We avoid it at all cost, and we do everything possible to protect our children from its dire consequences. As a result, we deprive them of experiencing the benefits inherent in a willingness to fail.

When we are afraid to fail, we close ourselves off from possibilities. We avoid taking risks. We would rather do nothing than take the chance of being wrong. We can see this in the athlete who hesitates to go for the basket because he/she might miss, in the student who sits silently in class afraid to give the incorrect answer, or in the individual who gives up on his/her dream because it might not be successful.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our chilren is permission to see failure as merely an opportunity to adjust course and try something new.

Copyright © 2008 by Holly A. Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Developing Resilience in Our Children!

One of the most useful qualities an adult can possess is the ability to bounce back in the face of disappointment and adversity. History is filled with successful people who kept trying against great odds and numerous disappointments. They refused to let life's "failures" define them. How did they develop this ability? It's highly likely that they grew up knowing they had to face the consequences of their own choices and actions. They did not expect someone to run to their rescue every time they faced injustice, disappointment, or hardship. They were taught that "life is not always fair." Since they did not grow up sheltered from the storms of life, they were well prepared to face them.

Today, we parents do not want our children to suffer in any way if we can prevent it. We are quick to solve their problems, run to their rescue, and place ourselves between them and the unfairness of life. We do it with the best of intentions. We don't want them to have to learn the hard way, and we desperately want them to be treated in a just and fair manner at all times. If we had the power to adjust the whole world according to our wishes, there would be no problem with this. We could shelter our children, knowing that the world would do so as well. Unfortunately, that is not the case. We have only to turn on the news or read the paper to see that unfairness reigns in abundance. Depriving our children of opportunities to develop resilience does not serve them well in the long run.

How do we develop resilience in our children? We can
  • allow them to experience disappointment.
  • refrain from solving their problems.
  • realize that growth takes place during times of struggle.
  • have faith in their coping skills.
  • put things into perspective.
  • ask them how they want to deal with their problems.
  • support and encourage them when they bounce back from disappointment.
  • stop being more worried about their happiness than they are.
  • acknowledge our own disappointments.
  • see failure as nothing more than feedback.
  • resist letting them know we feel sorry for them, so we do not encourage victimization.
  • set clear boundaries.
Copyright © 2008 by Holly A. Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Encourage Resourcefulness!

Resourceful individuals use a combination of intellect, creativity, imagination, hard work, and determination to solve problems and arrive at solutions. They do not wait for someone else to provide the answers. They are willing to make mistakes and adjust their actions accordingly. Driven by curiosity, they demonstrate persistence as they work to accomplish their goals. Some of the world's greatest contributions in the arts, humanities, sciences, and other fields have come from these dynamic innovators.

To encourage a sense of resourcefulness in our children, we need to:

  • allow them time to figure things out before jumping in to rescue.
  • refuse to give answers to things they could find out for themselves.
  • help them see mistakes as feedback, rather than failure.
  • give them opportunities to be creative.
  • provide time for imagination and dreaming.
  • model resourcefulness as adults.
  • let go of a perfectionistic mindset.
  • limit time on the computer, television, and other electronic entertainment systems.
  • refuse to let them use "boredom" as an excuse for lack of performance.
  • invite them to figure out a way to get the help they need when necessary.

Copyright © 2008 by Holly A. Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®