Life is Not Fair!

When my children were little, one of the worst things they could say to me at the time (or so I thought) was that I was not being fair. Oh, how I dreaded those words. However, it didn't really matter what I did or did not do. If it wasn't to their liking, I was guilty of the dreaded unfairness crime. I've changed my mind about the whole concept of fairness since then.

Sure, in an ideal world, it would be wonderful if everyone received "fair" treatment. However, in the real world, unfairness runs rampant. Good friends of mine lost three of their four daughters to Cystic Fibrosis. Another very dear friend was just diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer and now has to undergo aggressive chemotherapy treatment. The news is filled with evidence of bad things happening to good people. They lose their jobs, their spouses, their homes, their loved ones, and more, and none of it is fair.

Sweeping unfairness from the paths of our children all of the time does them an injustice. It deprives them of the opportunity to learn to handle small disappointments, and it can create a sense of entitlement. Of course, I am not recommending sitting back and doing nothing about serious issues. However, allowing them to handle the regular disappointments of childhood and adolescence builds their resilience. When life eventually hits them with greater setbacks, they will be prepared to face them head on!

Copyright © 2008 by Holly A. Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®