Rev Up Their Self-Esteem!

We know that developing healthy self-esteem in our children is critical to their future happiness as adults. However, that is sometimes easier said than done. In order to do so, we must first get clear about what self-esteem actually does and does not mean.

The self-esteem movement, taken in the wrong direction in the past, led to a sense of entitlement in many of our nation's youth. With an over-inflated sense of self, they all too often developed the belief that the world (and everyone in it) was there solely for their own enjoyment and happiness.

As adults, we worked hard to sweep disappointment and challenges out of their paths-for fear these experiences would damage their fragile self-esteem. By covering up weaknesses and apparent flaws, we unknowingly gave the impression that anything less than perfection might put a dent in the very fabric of their ability to love and accept themselves. We definitely missed the boat on that one.

True self-esteem develops from an unconditional acceptance of both our strengths and our weaknesses. It strengthens in the face of struggle. In order to rev up your children's true self-esteem, follow these six suggestions.

1. Value them for who they are - flaws and all!

2. Give them opportunities to see their mistakes as stepping stones to their ultimate success.

3. Expose them to stories of people who have triumphed in the face of challenge! Check out the short movie clips , especially "Finish Strong" at Personal Transformations.

4. Demonstrate your belief in them by holding them accountable for their actions.

5. Let them solve some of their own problems.

6. Don't do something for them if they are capable of doing it for themselves.

Copyright © 2008 by Holly A. Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.®